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duminică, 25 decembrie 2011

Craciun fericit!

marți, 6 decembrie 2011

How to Pick Up Any Girl (eng.)

Introduction


Hi,


I think it is a good idea to publish some texts out of some books copy right belonging to me, texts about many useful things. We'll start with the famous and challenging world of dating, I'll publish 2 out of 7 chapters of this material: How to Pick Up Any Girl.


Hope the info will be useful. Enjoy!


Let me tell you a secret. Women want you. Whether you are already a pick-up king who’s reading
this book to hone your skills, or a shy man who hasn’t had much luck with girls, you can be taught to
communicate with women effectively, and get more dates that you can handle.
First, let’s think about what women want.
Women want to be desired and admired, but not leeched over. They want to believe that you want
their brains as well as their bodies. You’ll see later on in this book that this is why lame chat up lines
NEVER work.
Girls are romantic. We all want to meet that special person. But let’s face it, while we are waiting for
that special person, we still want to have some fun with some guys along the way.
It doesn’t matter whether you are overweight, have a poorly paid job, or aren’t the world’s best
looking guy. Women aren’t shallow. They can see past these things. That is why if you are genuine, and
know how to talk to girls; there are women all over your town who want to date you, sleep with you,
maybe even marry you.
By following the advice and steps laid out in the book, you really can learn how to get any girl.
We will begin by looking closely at your presentation. Are you presenting yourself in the best possible
light? Turning to your communication techniques, we will build your confidence and help you conquer
your fear of rejection. We’ll then examine the pros and cons of some common hunting grounds.
Next, after interpreting body language, small talk and pick-up lines, we will look at how to convert
a casual acquaintance into a girlfriend. That’s when things will hot up, and we’ll graduate to the
bedroom. After all, that is the end game.

Chapter 1 - Start at the beginning

Before you try to pick up another girl, stop.
Let’s analyse what you are trying to do here. This is a sales situation. You are trying to sell the idea of
yourself to a woman. You’re trying to convince her that you’re attractive, funny, interesting and sexy.
If you go into a store to buy a shirt, you want to buy one that is clean, nicely folded, presented with
the best effort that the salesman can. It’s the same with your personal presentation.
Everyone knows that you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. But we all do, don’t we? If you don’t put
some effort into your appearance and present yourself as best you can, you will undermine every other
effort that you are about to make in the rest of this book.
Now I’m not talking about extremes here. There’s no need for cosmetic surgery, or even a vigorous
gym schedule. You just need to make sure that you have good personal hygiene, clean clothes, and are
dressed appropriately for the setting.
Your clothes
Check that your clothes are in good condition, clean with no rips or tears, and that your trousers and
top do not clash wildly with each other. These things are much more important than the brand name
of your jacket. After all, there’s nothing attractive about a man who cannot dress himself properly.
Personal hygiene
Always shower before a date. Shower thoroughly. After all, you never know where it might lead! By
making sure that you are immaculately clean and smell pleasant, you are removing reasons for the girl
reject you.
If a woman is watching your mouth while you speak, make sure that it is because she’s hungry for
you, and not because she’s following that piece of spinach from lunch around your jaw line. It’s always
worth checking your appearance in a mirror before you make your approach, to make sure that you
are presenting yourself as best as possible.
Chapter 2 - Overcoming your fear of rejection
When most men are asked what stands between them and their dream girl, they cite fear of rejection.
It’s the thought that goes around your head as you approach girls. You make your way slowly across
the room, and you’re sure that the crowd of people watching can see your hands shaking. You finally
get near to her, and think your heart is beating so loudly that everyone in the room can hear it. She
turns to you. Then you get the look. You know, the one that makes it clear she thinks you’re a bug on
a log. Your palms start to sweat. You ask if you can buy her a drink. Surely she’ll say no. Why would
this beautiful girl say yes? She grimaces at you. Here we go. Time for the big heave-ho. But no! She
reaches into her bag and pulls out her glasses. “That’s better,” she says. “I can see you now. I’ll have a
beer, please.”
Even the best pick-up artists get rejected sometimes. Often, the rejection has nothing to do with the
guy himself. Maybe the girl is already attached, or is feeling unwell. Maybe she’s getting over a bad
break-up... or perhaps she’s even gay.
Even if she mentions one of these genuine reasons, it isn’t easy to take rejection. We feel discarded
and abandoned, as though we’ve been deemed worthless. But the truth is, getting rejected is never
as bad as you think. And the real question you have to ask yourself is, would you regret it more if you
never approached that girl at all?
Everyone feels a fear of rejection to some extent. If you are particularly shy, the idea of walking up to
a gorgeous babe might have you coming out in hives with worry. But don’t. Together, using the tips set
out in this book, you will learn how to acknowledge and manage this fear, and not let it get in the way
of your hot new love life.
What is the worst that can happen?
Being rejected is never pleasant, but you have to remember that, in most instances, the worst that
can happen is a temporary moment of embarrassment. Even a polite brush off can be excruciating,
especially if it is in public. However, (and this is the most important point) there is no shame in it. In
fact, if you were courteous and pleasant, the girl was probably pleased and flattered to have received
your attention and will turn you down politely.
Remember, if a woman is unkind or rude when she turns you down, it’s really you who’ve had a lucky
escape. If she is unpleasant enough to make an issue out of it and try to embarrass you in public, then
you wouldn’t want to be with her anyway.
What next?
It’s worth pondering for a moment on your own self worth. Feeling worthwhile is the key to picking
up girls. You are a valuable person, with something to offer, including to that hot girl at the bar.
Don’t believe me? What if you saw it in black and white, in your own handwriting?
Think of some of your positive qualities. It doesn’t matter whether you think they are small or
insignificant. Anything positive will do.
What do your family and friends say about you? Do you make people laugh? Are you strong in a crisis?
Do your friends find you dependable? Are you handy around the home?
Now write them down in the list below. Don’t be shy.
Five things I like about me
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Obviously, you are not going to get very many phone numbers from bragging about yourself. But
that’s not the point of this exercise. I’m not advising you to approach a girl on the street and tell her
that you’re strong in a crisis. However, reinforcing your own positive self-image is the first step in
getting better at picking up women. It goes back to what we said at the beginning of the book: why
would you bother buying a shirt from the salesman who didn’t believe it was any good?
Now you’ve realised that everyone has been rejected at some point, and reflected on the fact that you
have something to offer.
It’s time to give your new found confidence a road test. Let’s take some practical steps to make sure
that you are getting to control your fear of rejection.
Practical steps
Step 1
If your fear of rejection is so acute that it has paralysed your social life and stopped you from going
out with members of the opposite sex completely, we have to break you in gently. Your first mission
is to go to a public place, with no expectations of any romantic outcome, and strike up a conversation
with a woman. Any woman. Hot, homely, old, young. The conversation does not need to go anywhere
(although if you do continue beyond a couple of lines, good for you).
Here are some suggestions of topics:
Asking for information (for example, the time or when the next bus is coming).
The weather.
Compliment something she’s wearing.
The lady in question might merely grunt at you, or engage you in conversation in return. Either way,
you have taken the first step towards conquering your fear of rejection. Good job.
Step 2
Here I want you to take the action required in step 1 again. Fair enough, you say, but where’s the
challenge in that?
Once you have initiated the contact described in step 1, you have to communicate to the woman
that you are interested in her. You need to send out the message that you are not merely passing the
time of day with her, but that you have chosen her, and specially her to speak to. Read on the body
language chapter below, and review the lady’s behaviour. Is she acting open or closed? If she is acting
open, Use some of the tips set out in chapter 4 to let her know that you are interested too.
Step 3
When you have completed steps 1 and 2, graduate to step 3 and declare your interest explicitly. Ask
for a date or give her your number. In an age when we are all told to be so careful about our personal
information, girls are understandably reluctant about the idea of giving out there numbers to men
they’ve never met before. Would you want your own sister to do this? Probably not. So don’t be
immediately put off if she doesn’t hand out her number. Anyway, at least she didn’t try to palm you off
with the number for the pizza delivery service or the speaking clock.
Instead, if you give out your own number to her, you are showing that you are very interested in
further contact with the woman, and that you want to see her again, but that you respect her personal
space.
For some reason, people are more prepared to give out their email addresses than their phone
numbers. So asking for her email address is less intrusive. This could be better for you anyway as you
can really think about what you want to say in an email, rather than blurting your feelings out over
the phone. With an email, you can draft it, think about it, reread and edit it, before you press the send
button. Communicating by email may also be better for the lady involved, if she is shy too.
If you’ve taken these first three steps, one at a time, I’m sure that your confidence and skills at talking
to women are improving. If you were rejected, so what? There are plenty more fish in the sea. Let’s
move on to find out where to meet them.Chapter 3 - Places to meet girls
The places you’ve probably been going to already are the traditional “hunting grounds” for picking up
girls. Bars and clubs are typically where men go to meet women. But you might be looking the wrong
places. Think about it. In a noisy bar, she’s not going to be able to hear you talk to her properly. She’s
out with her friends, and won’t want to leave them to go with you. Bars aren’t where people tend to
look their best, in a hot, sticky environment for the potential to spill drinks on yourself. Nightclubs are
good for getting close up and personal, but if you are no John Travolta, it could get embarrassing.
That’s not to say that you should give up on bars and restaurants completely. After all, they are still the
traditional hunting ground for both men and women to come and look for a partner. But perhaps you
might have more luck if you cast your net wider to find a better forum for you to practice your new
pickup skills.
The gym
If you meet a woman at the gym, you already have a head start. You have something in common –
exercise. This can immediately be used as a topic of conversation to bond over. Ask if she is training
for a particular event, or just visiting the gym to relax. Perhaps ask if she knows of any good circuit
training classes. If she does, great, you can go along to that session and see if she wants to go for a
coffee afterwards.
Obviously, in the gym, she will be sweaty and scantily clad. Please do not refer to this fact. You may
find it highly attractive, but she would rather you didn’t mention it.
An evening class
Taking a class in a foreign language, art or philosophy can be a great way to meet women. As
with the gym, you already have something in common, so breaking into the conversation will be
straightforward. Foreign language classes are particularly good for this, as the tutor will engineer
scenarios where students have to practise their newly learned phrases. Great! A situation where she is
obliged to talk to you! Also, if you are learning the language of a country famous for its cuisine, why
not graduate to a restaurant after class. From Italian class to the pizzeria!
If you do find yourself in a situation where you like a girl in an evening class, do your homework. No
one finds it attractive if you are the guy who needs the teacher’s remedial help.
Museums and Galleries
Museums and galleries are a godsend to guys who are looking to pick up single women. If you
are looking for a classy, intelligent woman, this is where they hang out. If struggling for topics of
conversation has always been a problem, look straight at the wall in front of you, and there is an
exhibit or a piece of art that should give you at least the ammunition you need to pluck up the
courage to talk to her.
Ask her which painting she prefers, or what her favourite period of history is. Obviously, you have
to have some kind of knowledge about this before approaching her. Perhaps she’s there with a
friend, in which case speak to them both. Generally speaking, if the best friend likes you, you’re on
your way. But one thing is crucial when dealing with this situation. You must never, ever flirt using a
“scattergun” approach. If you flirt with them both without targeting your attentions, they will both
dismiss you as neither of them were made to feel special.
Museums and galleries are great for getting “link dates.” A link date is one that piggybacks from your
initial situation. So, with a gallery, research the painter’s other exhibitions or find out if there is a show
by artists of a similar period, and ask if she would like to come with you. For museums, see if there are
any events being held that you could go to together.
Book Groups
Book groups are the holy grail of dating pick up opportunities, as they provide not only a topic of
conversation, but the social situation in which to start a friendship/relationship. It’s essential to read
the book thoroughly, otherwise she will think you are an idiot, so you have to weigh up whether or
not you want to put in the effort required to pick her up. However, if you decide that you would like
to pursue someone, through taking part in the discussions about the text you can get a good idea
about the girl’s personality and know her quite well before you even take her to coffee.
Church
If you are a churchgoer, don’t dismiss church as a place to meet single women. Obviously it’s not the
place to meet girls who are just out for meaningless sex. You’d better go back to the bar for them. But
if you are looking for a soul mate, why not try church? There will be numerous linked social occasions
where you can talk and develop your relationship.
Weddings
What is it about weddings and girls? The flowers? The dress? By observing a single woman at a
wedding you can tell how desperate she is to get hitched. Unless you feel similar despair yourself,
avoid the girl who elbows old ladies out of the way and tramples over the 5-year-old bridesmaids to
land the bouquet. Instead, go for the girl who has had a couple too many glasses of champagne, and
who is ready for a brief turn on the dance floor.
If you can’t dance, a wedding is the only acceptable place for you to get onto the dance floor, so wait
for your favourite song and go for it.
Looking for a line to open the conversation? “How do you know the bride/groom?” will give you
plenty to talk about.
The Grocery Store
The cliché is that you meet in one aisle and end up going down another kind. I wouldn’t recommend
specifically hanging out in grocery stores for the sole purpose of meeting beautiful women. But if you
happen to spot one, why not go and strike up a conversation?

A Word about Dating at Work
With work lives being so demanding, it’s no surprise that many of us meet our partners at work. After
all, that’s where you spend most of the week! But employers often take a dim view of workplace
flirting. They pay you to make them money, not to make out! Some employers feel so strongly about
this issue that they have non-fraternising clauses in employment contracts to prevent this type of
thing. So while you might meet a potential partner at work, your “dating” is best done outside of
working hours, and with discretion.
If you start going out with a woman who works for you in a team that you manage, the situation
could turn nasty because you might be accused of harassment. On the other hand, if you are sleeping
with your female boss, disgruntled colleagues can easily point their fingers at you and accuse you of
using unfair practises to climb the corporate ladder.
Finally, if a work relationship turns sour, the one thing you can guarantee about a work relationship
is that, if things go wrong, you will have to see the girl again, day in day out, which might be painful
and/or embarrassing for both of you.
I think you get the message: avoid dating people at work!

Fericirea este speranta realizabila

"Fericirea este speranta realizabila dar care nu e inca realizata spunea medicul si sociologul Gustave Le Bon.
Vizarea unui tel clar definit ne impiedica sa ne dispersam si sa ne pierdem in lucruri secundare. Daca am urmari un scop precis, am intra in mod automat in tabara entuziastilor.
Punct important: sa ne fixam un obiectiv cu termen de realizare rezonabil." Citat din Cartea echilibrului - ghidul practic al oamenilor echilibrati.
Simt nevoia sa scriu acum despre echilibrul personal. De-a lungul timpului si aratind cu degetul societatea, familia si altele, am pierdut echilibrul si am facut eforturi mari pentru a-l gasi. Daca stau bine si ma gindesc echilibrul e o stare in care nimic nu te poate atinge si nimic nu te tulbura sau daca se intampla asta ai reteta, butonul magic pentru a repara. Daca vrei sa reusesti ceva in Romania, atunci mii de forte, de neuroni, de ore se avinta spre acel obiectiv. De cele mai multe ori e vorba si de lucruri marunte. Ati observat cum nimic aproape nu se mai rezolva fara un maxim de efort si de nervi?
Patesti ceva, ai de luptat cu morile de vint, te epuizeaza aceasta lupta si normal ca pierzi din echilibru.
Faza cu nesimtirea nu tine, nu poti face nimic de substanta daca esti nesimtit.
In timp, eu am incercat sa ma disciplinez si sa citesc ce ar fi bine de facut.
Un lucru pe care il practic (uneori) si care da rezultate e fixarea prioritatilor zilnice.
Un studiu spune ca 95% dintre oameni nu au un scop precis in viata.
Va propun sa scriem negru pe alb cele mai importante sase lucruri pe care dorim sa le realizam maine, dupa care sa le enumeram in ordinea importantei lor.
Punem aceasta hirtie in buzunar. Primul lucru pe care il vom face maine dimineata va fi sa aruncam o privire pe punctul numarul 1. Lucram la el pina cind acesta va fi realizat. Dupa aceea, in acelasi mod, ne ocupam de punctul numarul 2, apoi de 3, samd. La sfaristul zilei sa nu ne necajim daca nu am terminat decit unul sau doua dintre obiectivele pe care ni le-am fixat. Noi suntem pe cale de a ne consacra energia celor mai importante lucruri, acesta este secretul succesului.
Am trait dezamagiri in ceea ce priveste persoana mea atunci cind nu am reusit sa termin ce am de facut, tocmai pentru ca obiectivele nu erau ca lumea fixate, erau prea sus. Aceasta frustrare duce la angoasa si la scaderea increderii in mine implicit. Mi-e teama sa pun alte obiective de aceea e bine sa traim cu ideea ca nu toate se vor rezolva imediat. Cu pasi mici dar siguri ne putem indrepta spre succes.
Daca adaug si ce am cules din cartea mai sus citata ca fericirea se gaseste in urmarirea constienta a unui scop, asa cum a spus bietul Aristotel, atunci concluzia este trasa: ai teluri, ai satisfactii si echilibru.
Am in fata biroului meu un panou de vizualizare si pe el am lipit un citat din Dale Carnegie: "Cele mai importante lucruri in lume au fost realizate de oameni care au continuat sa incerce chiar si cind se parea ca nu mai este nici o speranta."

Loverboy

Doamnelor si domnilor,


Indiferent cit de cu coada in sus e cinematografia romaneasca, suntem cu mult in urma altor natii. Americanii cel putin au atins cote imense pentru calitatea filmelor realizate de ei. Chiar daca eu am o relatie de buna amicitie cu doi dintre cei mai mari regizori romani in viata, oameni cu totul speciali, trebuie sa recunosc ca nu e film care sa ma puna pe ginduri asa cum o fac UNELE filme americane.
Sa ne intelegem, nu vorbesc despre cele comerciale.
Am vazut de curind, de fapt am revazut, un film al carui titlu e Loverboy, film din 1995 realizat de Kevin Bacon si nevasta-sa, dupa un roman.
La finalul filmului mi-a fost o sila imensa de personjul principal, cel al mamei.
Pe scurt: o femeie respinsa in copilarie de parintii sai decide sa faca un copil pentru a-si umple golul existentei sale, fara legatura cu fiinta adusa pe lume de ea sau cu societatea sau cu dragostea.
Desi in recenzii asta scrie, ca ea dorea dragostea si de aceea a izolat complet copilul de ceilalti oameni, eu nu cred asta, ea avea mare nevoie sa umple golul imens din copilarie.
Cind copilul conceput pentru ea a crescut, a refuzat sa traiasca dupa regulile ei si atunci mama s-a sinucis impreuna cu copilul. El a fost salvat in final, ea moare.
Sila mea provine din dispretul fata de o asemenea persoana care crede ca un copil e un obiect, e o pastila antidepresiva pe care o poti inghiti si se sterge totul.
Baiatul era numit de mama, Loverboy, expresie a nevoii de dragoste a doamnei cu pricina.
Noi toti avem nevoie de dragoste, nu e nimic rau in a recunoaste asta.
Rau si grav mi s-a parut modul in care a incercat sa incarcereze bietul copil, nu avea voie sa se joace cu altii, sa mearga la scoala sau in vizite la alti copii.
A mers cu nebunia pina intr-acolo incit a omorit un porumbel ranit doar pentru ca fiul ei se atasase de el.
Deci, nu va recomand sa urmariti acest film decit daca vreti sa studiati modul in care un om se transforma in monstru din cauza lipsei de dragoste din copilarie.